The sun is just starting to at least cast a glow through the heavy clouds and snow. I look out the front window and it’s hard to tell how much snow has fallen so far because the wind has been blowing all night. I can’t see the horses in the corral so I’m assuming they are huddled together in the barn stalls and oh boy, there will be some digging out to do out there so that we can get those doors shut again. Our best guess is that we have 8-9 new inches on top of the 6 that was left over from the last storm. They are predicting another 6-10 throughout the day today. It looks like it is going to be a very white winter here this year. Not complaining….all this moisture will come in handy during the summer dry season when our state has been so plagued by fires.
I woke up early this morning. No special reason. My eyes just opened around 4 a.m. I tried to go back to sleep but about 4:20, I gave up, walked upstairs and made the coffee and settled in for some quiet moments. We put up the Christmas tree last night. It’s stunning. One of the most beautiful and perfectly shaped trees that I have ever seen. It was just the three of us putting up the tree. The numbers keep dwindling. This year Jordan is living down in Denver and between his schedule and our schedule, I knew we would never get the tree up if we waited on a common day for all four of us. I wanted to be sure we got it up relatively early since we have a production of The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe on the 13th and 14th. But mostly, because I know that at any time, we could get the call from John Michael and Windy telling us that Windy is in labor down in Atlanta and Christmas in Colorado will be over. Yep, we are going to do our best to beat “Little Lane” arrival. Should be interesting…and probably stressful….but “stress is a choice right.”
When Jeremy and Jessica had Emma we made it to the hospital in Los Angeles just in time. As I walked in, Jeremy came out to get me. I was shocked. They wanted me and Jessica’s mother in the delivery room. Now I couldn’t have done that in a million years…but I’m OH SO GRATEFUL that they desired that. I was a bit unsure of myself when I walked in and just quietly watched, listened and helped as each opportunity arose. And when Emma finally arrived, I felt an overwhelming sense of awe and gratitude. Awe that God had allowed another precious little one to join our family…awe at the miracle of birth…awe that my son was now a daddy….gratitude that momma and baby were both healthy…gratitude that I had been able to be a part of the whole experience. There weren’t any words for the way I was feeling. And, I was still quiet…because there were no words.
Birth has always been kind of a quiet experience for me. It’s such a miracle. For the momma, it takes alot of concentration and work. The daddy is quietly giving comfort and reassurance. At least that was my experience all four times. I wanted the room and the atmosphere quiet and peaceful. When our first son was born we had Christmas music playing…Handel’s Messiah to be exact. He (John Michael) wasn’t due until January 3rd but he arrived on December 20th…on our second wedding anniversary. John Michael and Windy’s “Little Lane” is due on December 23rd. So excited! It’s really kind of surreal that that they are having a baby so close to the time when John and I had our first son….who is now going to be the daddy to “Little Lane.” It’s made me pretty reminiscent…and once again filled with awe and gratitude. God has surely blessed our family. We have had our fair share of struggles and trials. At times, I think both John and I thought we had MORE than our fair share of struggles and trials. But when I see the family that God has blessed us with…starting with the heritage that comes from my precious mom and John’s amazing mom and dad, to our four boys, to their spouses and now to grandchildren…all I can feel is awe and gratitude.
Those that don’t know me very well see the “work” that I do with Artios…and I love what I do believe me. But honestly, all I ever wanted was a husband that loved me unconditionally, who would raise our children to love God and to want to live to glorify Him, and children who would seek after God with all their heart, all their soul and all their mind. As I watch that reality, I am filled with awe and gratitude. As I’ve grown older, my dream expanded to include spouses for my boys…spouses who would also love God with all their heart, all their soul and all their mind and then, who would love my boys with everything inside of them…who would complete them. As I watch that reality, I am filled with awe and gratitude. Now, as God is blessing us with grandchildren, my dream expands yet again. I want for them the greatest gift of all…a personal relationship with the God of the Universe. I pray for that even now!
I am filled with awe and gratitude because I know from whence I came…I know the mistakes I’ve made, the sins I’ve committed…and I know how GREAT God’s grace is to have saved me, set my feet upon a rock and directed my path even when I didn’t even know He was there. I am filled with awe and gratitude because I know that there is nothing I could do to deserve that grace…
and that’s why they call it grace…it is unmerited.
Awe and Gratitude! Yep…that pretty much sums it up.